I am alive!!
No, I wasn’t kidnapped by the traveling circus or spirited away by charming Latin pirates (although how fun!) I’m still here in Maz, still breathing and laughing and crying and loving Jesus and seeing His mercies new every morning.
I do have a legitimate reason for not writing a post last weekend, I promise. And it wasn’t just procrastination this time.
Week Ten was *extra* special. On Sunday we all loaded ourselves into our own private bus and were carried up and over the Sierra Madre Occidental Mountains to Durango. The journey took five-ish hours, although I fever-dreamed through most of it as I was struggling to recover from a cold. YWAM Mazatlán has a new sister-base in Durango where a different (but connected) DTS is being run. The Durango Boys (as we affectionately call the four students of this brand-new DTS) are like dear cousins to us as they spent several weeks with us in Maz attending the same classes. This time it was our turn to travel to their home base and join them for a week of classes.
And my, was it an adventure.
You could say we got a little week of Outreach preview; plenty of things tested our unity and attitudes. Us girls crammed ourselves into a beautiful ranch house five minutes down the road from the base, where some of slept on the floor and all of us nearly died of heat the first night. We spent several days without power or water at that house, which meant 20 girls scrambling to grab their showering necessities and shower at random free times throughout the day at the base. As the week went on more and more people caught the terrible cold that I was just beginning to recover from. The power at the base was extremely limited and the AC nonexistent. Ministry on Wednesday with the Durango team was amazing and powerful, but many of us suffered heat exhaustion from the intense sun. I got to use my random nosebleed-stopping technique several times as peoples noses struggled to adjust to the dryness and heat. Some days the heat was so intense we would lay on the concrete floor of the church during classes, trying to soak up any remaining coolness while paying attention to the lecture.
I genuinely had so much fun.
The first day pummeled me as I was still sick and exhausted, but once my body was back in working order, I actually loved the spontaneity and the challenge of solving each new problem that arose. The base is situated fifteen minutes outside the city of Durango, and spending our nights on a ranch and waking up to cows made me feel so at home. It was quiet, peaceful, and familiar in so many sweet ways. The Morales family who are pioneering the Durango base are amazing people and I loved soaking up their wisdom and was awed by their tenacity. The classes were profound and yet practical, and I was greatly encouraged and relieved to receive teaching that was impactful without being emotionally exhausting. I was grateful yet again for every challenge and leadership opportunity God has allowed me to walk through that have given me the tools and perspective to handle the many curveballs with aplomb. I was also thankful for the ways my parents exampled problem-solving for me as I grew up so that my mindset would be one of finding a solution instead of feeling stuck.
As delightful as the week was, it was hard, and it ground me into the dirt. As the week came to a close, it seemed like the last and final wave came crashing down and I found myself with several hard conversations to have and a lot that required processing, and I did not have the capacity to handle it.
So… I didn’t.
On Friday morning we packed ourselves back into the bus and crossed again the beautiful mountains to return to our beloved Oceanside base. And the very best part of my week began - my parents arrived in Maz to hang out with me!!
The weekend spent with them was absolutely delightful. I knew I missed them, but I had no idea how much. We spent hours talking, exploring restaurants, wave jumping in the ocean, kayaking, snorkeling, and generally doing our best to cram three months of catching up into two and a half-ish days. I was reminded of how very very much I love them and how incredibly wonderful they are. We had a blast.
And then they had to leave.
Now we’re on Monday of Week Eleven…
I cried for two days.
The weight of the week before and the reality of how much I had missed my parents (and home in general) and would continue to miss them now that they were leaving hit me and I crumbled. I couldn’t run from the conflict within friendships or the pile of emotions and ideas still yet to be processed anymore. Exhaustion caught up with me and demanded I figure out how to rest and do it NOW.
It really sucked.
I had no choice but to face the conflict and have those hard conversations. I had to stare those insecurities in the face and move in the opposite spirit, which took everything I had. I had to allow my brain enough quiet time to put to rest some of the unprocessed thoughts and feelings. I had to humble myself and at the same time give myself the grace I so often withhold.
Once the dust settled and I was able to actually focus on class, wow. Was I ever blessed. The teaching was on Kingdom Culture but it covered so many different ideas. It rocked my world and put it to rest at the same time. So many loose ends came together and made sense. So many stressors were put in their place and resolved. I had a new revelation about old revelations and things clicked for me that helped put so many things into perspective. I think God allowed things get shaken and broken apart enough that He could take the pieces that originally were in the wrong order and realign them to the truth.
Week Eleven was officially the last day of Lecture Phase. We have now entered the last week before Outreach. This is Outreach Prep Week and it’s getting really real! I will hopefully update the Outreach post with new details today or tomorrow so you can get a clearer picture of what we’re headed into! I’m getting more and more excited the closer we get!
Praise:
I am feeling rested and much less overwhelmed.
Everyone in our DTS is healthy again!
My parents had safe travels and we had a wonderful time together.
Our teams are beginning to gel and come together like a family and it makes my heart SO happy.
I feel so encouraged to see how much I’ve grown and how far I’ve come in the last three months and yet I feel like I still have everything to learn, which I think is a great place to be.
Prayer requests:
Unity for our team as we get close to leaving the base for Outreach.
Grace, strength, wisdom, energy, etc for our outreach leaders Emma and Niqo as they help our team get ready and finalize more of the itinerary and logistics.
Outreach prep to go well and cohesiveness as we’re figuring out so many details.
More health! We’ve recovered from our colds and viruses and we don’t wanna go back haha.
I’m leading worship, media, and drama for outreach, so pray for me!! I need creativity and wisdom as I organize all that good stuff.
I’ve really struggled with my voice since being here in Maz and I’m not sure why. I’ve lost it several times and the virus I had really did a number on it. Please pray for full healing of my voice as I really need it for worship leading!
Love you BUNCHES!!
Big hugs,
Emma
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