If yesterday you had asked me to list reasons why someone might choose to get up and dance, I guarantee ‘repentance’ would not have made it onto that list.
Today, for me, for my heart, it is at the top of that list.
I can’t even begin to express how the classes we’ve been immersed in over the last three days have challenged me, encouraged me, surprised me, or the amount of things I’ve said ‘Amen!’ to.
It feels like hundreds of pieces of gold, silver, and precious stones (aka wisdom) have been dumped into my lap and I’m still trying to sort them out, appreciate them all.
Today, one of those precious stones is repentance.
Ick.
In my heart, repentance has for so long carried weight it was not meant to carry.
Repentance is intensely significant, but I don’t believe it is meant to be heavy. Repentance has felt like the same thing as failure, shame, fear, and condemnation.
Today it feels like joy and freedom.
The story is long and I will share it with you in a heartbeat (just reach out! I’ll call you!!) but to put it simply…
A phrase was said in class today that I believe will change my life forever:
“Repentance is the key to receive LIFE, not judgement.”
Woah.
And in those moment, God convicted me deeply of sin that I have been cherishing and clutching with no small amount of self-righteousness. Funny how often our self-righteousness is actually a mask for our sins and weaknesses, huh?
He convicted me deeply, but instead of shame and fear, I felt excitement, relief.
He pointed out exactly who I needed to go to to confess this sin and be prayed for, and I immediately began anticipating the opportunity to confess, repent, and be healed.
I was excited to repent.
Because suddenly I understood that repentance is a gift, an blessing, an opportunity to hear God more clearly.
God in His graciousness and generosity allowed us to get out of class early so I was able to pull my friend aside without making her miss lunch.
We talked, I poured out the ugliness of my sin and my desire to repent and see transformation, she shared gentle, gracious words of encouragement, and then prayed for me.
I want to get up and dance.
I am so grateful for the opportunity to be freed from my sin, my pride, all the things that entangle me and keep me from dancing and running.
The truth, the reality of relationship with God is GRACE. Not condemnation. Conviction, not fear. Grief over sin, not shame. A desire for transformation, not a sense of failure.
All righty, I gotta go.
I’ve got some dancing to do.
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