Stupid finger.
Well over a week and a half ago, I sprained the first knuckle on my right ring finger.
At first it was somewhat novel. I don’t often get hurt (because I rarely put myself in the position to BE hurt) and it was mildly amusing to experience being injured and I may or may not have enjoyed figuring out how to do everyday things with two fingers (middle and ring) taped together.
But almost a week later, the sprain was no better and I was annoyed. My fellow DTS student Anna is a physician and she suggested a splint. It felt like overkill to me, but I consented.
Three days of wearing the splint pretty much 24 hours a day and I felt almost no progress. I hated the splint; it limited the usefulness of my right hand even more and my handwriting had deteriorated to the point I worried I wouldn’t be able to get anything out of the notes I was taking for class.
Monday morning, during the base worship time, I raised my hand to ask for prayer (because duh I always need prayer) and someone I didn’t know came and began praying for me. No introduction, just straight into Holy Spirit-led prayer. She prayed fervently for a few minutes and then I turned around and showed her my splinted finger. Tears streaming down my face, I asked ‘Will you pray for it please?’
I wanted to be healed so bad.
So she prayed, sometimes in English, Spanish, or tongues (that was new and cool for me!) and asked how it was. I determinedly tore off the splint and began testing out range of motion, swelling, tenderness, etc. Better, but not *healed*. She prayed again. Little to no change, but she encouraged me that God would heal and I would see it throughout the day.
I believed it.
Or at least, I tried to.
I walked around triumphantly with no splint, doing all the things I hadn’t done in a week and a half, telling people I was trusting for healing when they asked if it was better.
I finally could return to my pot scrubbing station during lunch cleanup. I was excited to be useful to my cleanup team again.
And it was fine for Monday. But then today, half an hour in, my finger started to throb. And then ache. And then, oh lovely, sharp pain.
And God said, clearly and directly as I attacked a frying pan with my steel wool,
‘Go put the splint back on.’
And I was indignant.
‘No! God, I’m believing for healing! I’m having faith that you will heal me!’
What He said next kinda changed the way I look at faith:
‘What if faith looks like putting the splint back on?’
Allow me to note that this weeks topic has been Hearing The Voice of God. And wow wow wow wow WOW so powerful. I’ve heard God speak with such certainty and power and I’ve had the thrill of watching Him prophesy through me to people in my class, speaking powerful words of life and future and hope to people who I barely know. Yes let’s GET IT!! This is what I came for!!!
Then I hear Him tell me to put the splint back on.
The last thing I want to do.
I made a many excuses as possible.
‘But I can’t leave my team! We’re already running behind on lunch cleanup and we have a timeframe!’
‘I don’t know where the splint tape is!’
‘Who’s gonna help me? I don’t know where Anna is!’
‘How are you gonna heal it if I’m keeping it in a splint?’ (Dumb excuse, I realize, but I honestly felt like that)
God just kept saying,
‘What if faith looks like putting the splint back on?’
I resisted for a while. This was barely an hour after I had raised my hand in class and spoke the bold words the Holy Spirit had given me for my classmate, with no fear and little hesitation.
Now I was fighting God about a popsicle stick and some tape on my finger.
Finally I relented. Apologizing to my team, I ran up all one hundred steps to our dorm (yes there’s over a hundred, I counted) and began tearing my room apart, looking for the tape.
‘Okay Jesus, you asked me to do this, now please help me find the tape!’
Ah, there it is.
I walked outside in the sunlight to try and prepare the splint. Then I hear a familiar chuckle and,
‘What are you doing?’
Anna. The dear physician and friend who had done all my previous splints for me. She just ‘showed up’ right at that moment.
So she splinted my finger as I told her my story of what God said, crestfallen. She laughed and triumphed a little. (I think her diagnosis agreed with Gods)
I went back down the kitchen and what do you know? At least three or four random people have popped into the kitchen and are helping my team in my absence. I didn’t ask anyone to help, I just told my team where I was going and left. And yet, no one was behind because reinforcements had arrived.
And God said, ‘See? I want to teach you that faith isn’t about what you think. It’s about what I ask of you. And look, I provided, in every way.’
My finger instantly felt better, by the way. The relief was immediate. I was annoyed haha. But relieved and grateful, despite my frustration.
The process of healing my finger continues. Several other people have prayed for it. It is still sprained. It still hurts. There’s more God is teaching me.
But what I want you to hear is this:
Faith isn’t about you doing what you think is faithful.
Faith is doing what He asks of us.
What is He saying to you? What area of your life are you refusing to have faith because it doesn’t look like what you think it should look like?
What If Faith Looked Like…?
Because when we have faith and obey, He provides. In every way, in abundance.
Let Him change your idea of faith today.
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